Child and Temperament

 

I really like what “Maria Montessori” expects Montessori teachers to practice “Maria Montessori”. Researched and found out, when parents speak from a distance to children and as a result to pass on an instruction to the child they shout, when from kitchen you give an instruction to the child in the bedroom, you shout. Because from the distance it has to go. Children, spatial intelligence is not developed when they are young.

So, they don’t understand distance, they only understand the loudness of tone. Every child who has been brought up by parents where you use distance as a context to speak loud, you will find your children’s responses are also always loud. The child also screams. The child also shout. The child also speaks loud. What is important is not this. What is important is, children who learn to speak loud and scream loud early in life are those who grow into temperamental people later years in life.

Every one of you here who gets angry for everything, basically you are a very loud communicator. And research shows, children who speak soft in the early years of their life, they have enormous mastery over their temperament in the later years of life. Listen carefully, which means, if part of my parenting communication is soft, my children will also learn those soft ways to communicate and the result and effect of this will be, in the later years they’ll have mastery over their temperament.

If I am a parent who always speaks loud to children, they will also learn to speak loud because that’s the only thing they will emulate. And they will suffer in their later years. Like so many of us in this room, we have no control over our temper, and we have no control over the tone of our voice when we lose our temper. So, part of Montessori training, the teacher does not have a stage like how all British system schools that we have where the Judge always sits in one place, the Chairman always sits in one place, the Managing Director always sits in.

There’s a head chair, there’s head table from which we give instruction to everybody. In Montessori training, the teacher is always told, first of all, she is not called a teacher, she is called an Auntie. She’s always asked to go next to the child and communicate. So, there is no central position for a Montessori teacher. She is present everywhere in the classroom.

Children don’t come to her she has to go to the child and there give that instruction because it’s very important in Montessori system. The tone of voice of the teacher is always soft to the child. So, that the child only aspires to emulate that soft tone and later years we’ll have mastery. What is important is this that one sentence? Children understand loudness of voice, they do not understand distance.

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