Feedback is Essential


One of the fundamental qualification to be a parent is they should complain. Okay. So, so take this learning, it’ll help you a lot. I will not allow my parents to anymore complain about this. They will find something new to complain, okay. Otherwise they are not parents. So, this is one fundamental qualification. Okay. Like how it’s one very major qualification for anybody in the adolescent years from 13 to 18, fundamental qualification from Ashish to Shreya, everybody has this to so often think my parents don’t know.

One fundamental qualification. Pappa, you don’t know, Pappa. If you say it, then you’re in adolescent years. Parental qualification is to tell you, why is this not ok? Somehow, they will find. In fact, you keep everything proper then mummy will come and tell you this is not how you should have folded the bed sheet. But will come — okay. So, don’t – but today we learn. People are not unhappy because of us. Okay. That’s not because of us. They are unhappy. Today, I am the reason tomorrow somebody else will be the reason.

So, the thing is, it now — I’ll come in support of parents now. Okay? This is the fact you should understand. See somehow, we think part of parenting is, we have to improve. Whatever happens, we have to improve. So, it is not that they are criticizing you all children sitting here, understand what your parents did not understand about their parents, please. Okay? When your parents tell you this is not okay, they are not criticizing you, they are criticizing your actions and there is a difference between the two.

They are not telling you; you are not okay. They are telling you what you’re doing is not okay. But somehow during adolescent years, even when somebody criticizes an action, we feel they are criticizing us. We take it very personal and that is why there’s so much rebelliousness during the adolescent years. You all the time want to reward. They are not criticizing you; they are criticizing your action.  When your parents are telling you, you’re having running nose, they’re not telling you, you should remove the nose.

They’re just telling you; you have a running nose; it has to be corrected. So, once we understand this, later it’ll help you a lot because later you will be part of say a principle company for which you’re having a distribution. Or tomorrow you are a principal company and your distributors have a feedback to you. Or tomorrow you’re working in a multinational company and you have a management which is questioning the way you have executed the project. Or tomorrow you are the management and you’re questioning your team, or your team is saying, you’re not giving me the infrastructure for me to complete the project.

The earlier we learned in life the better it is for you on the long-term. The world is criticizing your action and not you. Why are you linking both? When you show me a painting and suppose I say, but it has not come out well. I’m not speaking against the painter; I’m saying this painting is not right. When ” Ra.One” does not run properly, I don’t think the fans of “Shahrukh Khan” have rejected “Shahrukh Khan”.

They have just rejected that movie. Timing was not right. Because the world has just now seen a superstar in that role. Now when you do the same train sequence, same car sequence and the world has already seen that. Okay. You might be super superstar whatever, but there is a familiarity. They’ve already seen this. So, the whole – there’s nothing new about the whole thing. If you had only probably released it three years later and that we know experientially.

Four decades later when you release “Karnan” again, we are all willing to come and see it again. It’s new for us. There is a question of timing. Any product, anybody understands, unless you know how to time a thing. It doesn’t click. you know how to time it. And if you don’t time it, so the fans of “Shahrukh Khan” have rejected a movie of “Shahrukh Khan”, not “Shahrukh Khan”, he – tomorrow comes with a good movie, they will all see it again.

The same crowd rejected “Baba”, they didn’t reject “Rajinikanth”, they rejected a product of “Rajinikanth”. When he came again with another movie, the same audience went and celebrated “Chandramukhi” very, very differently. So, sometimes when a coach is correcting you and a lot of you who must be going for coaching, the coach is correcting a stroke of yours, not you. He still thinks you have a lot of potential, why don’t you understand this? If the coach does not believe you have a lot of potential, he will not invest time in correcting an action of yours.

In correcting a stroke of yours. He believes in your capabilities. So, he’s correcting something. Every time somebody shares something here and goes back and if I’m giving a feedback, if I don’t believe in them, I won’t give a feedback. I believe in them and that’s why I’m giving a feedback. So, part of leadership itself, it is essential to give feedback. Part of parenting itself, it’s essential to give feedback.

Part of teaching as a profession itself, it is essential to give a feedback. So, tomorrow when your yoga teacher is telling you that you are still not doing your, say “Suryanamaskar” properly, he is not condemning you. He is condemning the way you do one particular yoga posture and he is asking you to correct it, because we have a tendency to take it very personal. Three corrections from parents and you as a child start thinking my parents do not love me. Because they love you, they correct you. they don’t love you; they don’t care have you do it.

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