Example of a Good Friendship


Just talking about “Karna”. For me, I have great respect for “Karna”. Nothing explains the law of “Karna” in the way “Karna” was forsaken more than anybody else. His father, Mata, pita, guru, dev and all the four forsaked him. All the four conspired against him and yet he was one of the most noblest of souls. And somewhere explaining about “Karna”, just sharing in this top gear. Everybody says “Karna” had one weakness, what “Duryodhana” did was right for him.

He never ever told “Duryodhana” when “Duryodhana” was wrong, you are wrong, or you need to correct yourself. This is not what you should be doing “Duryodhana”. He never did that. For him whatever “Duryodhana” did was right. And everybody says that “Karna” has that one weakness. So, I see it as father had forsaken him for a momentary need. His mother valued her reputation so much that she forsaked him, yes, he took the wrong way to write knowledge, so his guru forsake them.

But unless you’re a “Brahmin”, I will not teach you. Is the flaw of a seeker or a flaw of a system. “Guru” says unless you’re a “Brahmin”, I will not teach you. And “Brahmin” is what? A biological status. Is it not a state of mind and when you say that unless you are a “Brahmin”, I will not teach you and the seeker is a genuine seeker who wants to learn. Now is it his mistake or it’s the flaw in the system? And the reverse is going on right now. If you are “Brahmin”, you won’t get a seat. Now he said, his mistake that he has got 96% and you won’t get a seat or it’s a flaw in the system.

But he was forsaken even by his guru. And when he stood there, humiliated. Say that it was for a personal moto, but here “Duryodhana” step forward, gave him dignity, gave him everything. Gave him position. Gave him a standing in the court of ministers and kings of the kings. Gave him a standing in life. Literally the statement we use to define surrender so many times, nothing of me everything of you. In “Karna’s” case, everybody else having forsaken them.

The situation actually was and “Duryodhana” stepping forward. “Karna” became something nothing of me everything of you “Duryodhana”. My respect for “Karna” is, if ever I felt in the heart of my heart in the context of any relationship, nothing of me everything of you. I think I’ve lost my right to judge after that. Where Karna stands here is, I came to you as nothing and you made me everything. Then who am I to judge you? I take everything from you.

This is like, somebody Nanga-Nanga is standing on the ground floor and somebody carries you on his shoulders to 10 floors. Now you stand on the 10th storey of the building and from there you see, but I don’t think this is how you should have built the building. Mavane! I came to you as nothing, you made me everything. And now that I know this nothing has become everything because of you. I don’t have the right to judge you. I think “Karna” disciplined himself not to use his intelligence to judge “Duryodhana”.

He (Karna) is standing there.  And to me to that extend “Duryodhana” also stands there. Having called you my friend, even if my eyes reports an action which does not look right, I will never question your intentions “Karna” “Duryodhana” says. Either I should not call you a friend. Hypocrisy that I call you a friend, I go around telling everybody you’re a friend. And then whenever I see an action in you which is not something I can endorse; I start questioning your intention itself. That’s not called friendship. Here was “Duryodhana”, “Karna” having accepted you as my friend, best friend that too.

Even if my eyes report an action, which I don’t feel is right. I will never question your intention because I’ve taken you as my friend. Or else don’t call somebody a friend. And here was “Karna”. Having realized it’s nothing of me and everything of you, I will discipline my intelligence point, my intelligence will not judge you anymore. So, there’s when you decided not to judge there is no perspective of right and wrong there. He has given himself that gift.

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