How To Move On After A Break-up?


“Question is with, somebody had DMed, direct messaged you on Instagram, and they have broken up with her boyfriend six months back, and every single day, that gets the better of her, and she’s not able to move on. How do you… What do you tell someone who’s not able to get out of their breakup?”

Any form of loss is difficult for a human being. Whether it is losing a relationship to death, or because we are parting ways. Or sometimes, it’s not even that we have parted ways, but we have two different directions to life, and hence you have gone your way, and I have gone my way. Any form of loss is very difficult for a human being. And all of us have different emotional thresholds.

Some people get over it in an hour, some people get over it in days, some people take months. And the truth is, time heals. Everybody has moved on with life. Sorry to say this, because nobody wants that to happen, but the questioner will also move on with life. Not in six months, one year’s time, in two years’ time, and somewhere this will become a faded memory. The scars never leave, but the injury will be gone. You will not feel the burn anymore.

Lot of people say you should forget and move on. We never forget anything. But the emotions we associate to it has a time span, and it’ll eventually fade away. During this period, it is tough, and you have to endure it. I’ll only tell everybody this. Life is very benevolent. Before it takes away anything from you, it first gives it to you. I can either think, that why did life take away my mother from me? Or I can cherish by saying, “Life gave my mother to me for fifty-three years to enjoy, and only then it took it away.”.

I can either say, “I lost two crores in business.”. I need to have two crores to lose two crores in business. Not everybody can lose two crores. I need to have it to lose it. So am I only going to regret what I have lost, which is one emotion the questioner is going through, or lift my consciousness to the level to celebrate the truth, that benevolent life first gives, and only then it takes away?

I know someone very close to me. Who was in a relationship when he was still in school, and this relationship fell apart. Because he’s very close to me, I’ve seen him cry every day, in fact, right through the day for having lost this relationship. Because I love him so much, and I’ve seen him like this, I remember going and asking one day, “During these times, do you feel that you should have never got into this relationship?”.

And he took liberty and told me, “No way. It’s better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. Because there are things about me that I would’ve never known but for this relationship. I never knew there was a lover in me! She only brought out the lover in me. In fact, my regret is not only that I have lost her. My regret is, now that I know what sort of a lover I am, she’s not the one who is going to enjoy the lover in me, somebody else will.”.

Objects of love come and go. Love goes on. I’m sure this person will find someone he or she will love, and life will move on, at that stage. So I would only ask everyone to raise your consciousness in the next level and say, next time that life takes away anything from you, while you will regret the loss, it’s also time to practice gratitude to say, “Thank you life! You first gave it to me, allowed me to enjoy it, and only then, took it away from me.”.

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