I think, by just programming your mind, deeper the hurt, deeper the love. I would endure that hurt and enjoy love in that relationship. Otherwise, it looks too cinematic, you know. It becomes like a plastic rose, where it always looks a rose, but there’s no fragrance in it. A relationship where there is no hurt, to me means no attachment. To me, means there is not enough conversational communication. To me, it means there is no mutual respect. There’s one dominant person in that relationship, and the other has become a submissive shadow in that relationship.
So, one person is taking all the shit, and the other person obviously is not getting hurt, because you’re dominating that relationship completely. But if there is affinity in a relationship, if there is mutual respect in a relationship, if there are conversations in a relationship, if both I and you have a right to our opinions in a relationship, then we are not free from expectations in a relationship, then no one relationship can meet all the expectations, so there is going to be resultant hurt.
And as an integrated package, it makes me feel the relationship is so real! And I want it to be real. So, I’m OK with it. So, in fact, I want to change the question, or change the perspective. Next time you feel hurt in a relationship, I want you to smile and feel glad, for that means there is still love in this relationship. Next time, when it is not hurting, I want you to be concerned about it. Have you become strangers unto each other? Because the same comment from a loved one affects me, and the same comment from a stranger doesn’t affect me.
And I don’t want my friends to become my strangers. I don’t want my spouse to be my stranger. I don’t want my family to be my stranger. I don’t want my colleagues to become my stranger. I want them to be my relationship. So, what if a few thorns are there? The rosebush is worth everything for the fragrance it emits. So, what if there is hurt in relationship? The love in the relationship makes it worth it. I’m okay with this. I want it as an integrated package and I will not choose a plastic relationship where there’s no more hurt, but there’ll be no more love either.