There is a Hollywood actress, whatever her name, is the one who acted in Speed.
“Sandra Bullock” good. Except how to live life how much we know. Now one of the favourite phrases of “Sandra Bullock” is, my life is under construction. So, don’t ask me, have I achieved? Have I reached? It’s still under construction, and I don’t think that phrase befits anything more than relationship. All relationships are always dot, dot, dot, under construction.
When a child compares with a sibling and says you love another more than me, the child is basically telling you, you are not giving me the attention, you’re giving the other. That’s all. The child doesn’t understand this love and other things. So, it’s just a language which the child uses, but the child is basically telling you. So, you think you are 8-year old is still young enough for you to take into the lap and cuddle and you have one very special language when you deal with those little ones. And for a 12-year old you say, you will not behave like that.
Your children are never too old for parental attention. And to them, it does not matter whether it’s positive or negative. Anytime your child compares his himself or herself with a sibling, they’re just saying, I need more attention. Give it. And there are thousand ways to do it. Just feeding your 12-year old is an attention. Just taking her into the lap is attention. Just sitting next to her when she’s studying. We don’t understand that syllabus. Okay. 12-year means already advanced. But, just sitting next to the child is attention. And don’t miss that opportunities.
I remember an evening in “Pune” which expanded my belief about how I look at relationships. When me and a friend of mine had gone to see a colonel and we were sitting with an uncle in the lawns and discussing. After about half an hour of discussion, the uncle asked us, do you came for tea? We never thought about it. It look like he wanted tea and we were just a context by which he could ask for tea. So, he said, do you came for a tea? We said, why not. He immediately turned in the direction to shout to Auntie, who was inside the bungalow to ask for tea.
And there he saw she was walking with a tray in hand with tea. As she approached us. The uncle told the Auntie, I was about to ask you for tea and without battling an eye lead the Auntie said, after 14 years of our marriage, if you have to ask me for tea and only then I bring then there’s no meaning to this relationship. I know what you want even before you ask. There is no need for us to believe. A relationship with time needs to diminish. In fact, our relationship with time can grow and it will grow only to those who believe I am in a growing relationship.
But I want all mothers sitting here to know this, children who find it difficult to handle you being strict during the growing years, actually develop tremendous attachment to you. They don’t show it in the growing years. All adults sitting here think about it. If based on whether your father was very strict with you or your mother was strict with you, whoever was more strict with you, your attachment to them as much higher than the ones who always pampered you. Think about it.
So, don’t be bothered about how they resist you during growing years, but they develop a lot of attachment. Children like somebody to tell them Do’s, Don’ts, why you should Do? why you should not? And they really like it. Dad’s will always appear favourite for children during the growing years, because dads are part time dads. Okay, they come for a little time and try to be as easy and impressive as possible. But eventually, all your time and attention will pay back over a period of time.
I have a very, very strong feeling about all of you can be easily provoked into anger. Sorry, I don’t want to hurt you, but truth be told. I can provoke a dog into barking whenever I want.
Shh, If I do it will start barking. It’s an animal. It does not have the intelligence to understand, knowingly he is provoking me, I should not bark. Hundred times I can provoke the dog, Shh, it will start barking. If anybody in the world can provoke you into anger whenever they want, what are we? What are we? Who is the master of our emotions?