The match was won ‘because of me’! This week, we got the biggest order ‘because of me’! All of you are enjoying the success, ’because of me’!
Such ‘because of me!’ statements we get to hear many times from our colleagues and close relatives. Most of them also want others’ to say it to them - ‘...because of you…’. In fact they feel disappointed when they do not receive it from the world around them. In some cases it turns into a craving and spoils the relationship too!
Like all relationship-based issues, the solution is two-fold, one, an approach for yourself and two, an approach for others. Mahatria provides the two-fold solution through this Q and A.

Why you should read this article:

If you are aware of such a craving (for recognition) in yourself, what correction should you bring in? If you see such cravings in your loved ones, how should you respond? Read this and learn to deal with this issue.

Who should read this article:

Those who have frequent friction in their families and office, relationship issues… should read this. They will learn the nature of relationships, the expectations... and ways to fulfil it.

Question: Why is there this craving in people to be recognised for everything they do?

Human nature has always been human nature.  Most of our relationship-based troubles aren’t because of human nature, but because of our ignorance in expecting human nature to be other than what it is.  If we are willing to accept others as they are, and if we are willing to change our approach towards others, then there can be no relationship-based disturbances.  Unfortunately, we expect others to accept us as we are, and we expect them to change their approach towards us.  In the latter, you are at the mercy of the world.  In the former, you are in control.  When you have a choice, why settle for a consequence?

One such quality in human nature is the “Because of me only…” craving.

Without the goal scorers, the match would not have been won.  Without the goalie saving some of the kicks, the match would not have been won.  Without the strength of your defence, without the weakness in the opponent’s defence, without the referee’s efficiency, without the linesman’s fairness, without that coach in the background, without the crowd’s cheering, and many more intangible factors to add to this list – the match would not have been won.

For a phenomenon like Mahatma Gandhi to happen in bone and flesh, was it because of his mother’s parenting, or was it that incident in South Africa, was it his principles of Satyagraha and Ahimsa, was it his spiritual alignment, was it a divine providence, was it the contexts the British provided for the transformation of Mohandas Karamchand into a Mahatma – which one factor can you isolate?

Too many factors, tangible and intangible, play a part in the making of anyone or anything.  Everything has to be in sync to cause success and even if one factor is not in sync, it can cause the failure.  Yet, when success happens, everybody wants a share of credit, and there goes, “Because of me only…”

Like all relationship-based issues,

the solution is two-fold;

one, an approach for yourself and

two, an approach for the others.

When it comes to you, give up and transcend this “Because of me only…” craving and you will cease to be an emotional beggar.  The joy of giving is in giving.

Find a way to be useful in everything and with everybody and leave it at that.

Being useful is a purpose in itself.

Even with your children, with your organisation, with anything and everything… give up and transcend the “Because of me only…” craving.  There is true emotional freedom in it.

Of course, when it comes to others, never ever miss an opportunity to tell them, “Because of you only…” and say it with all your heart.  It gladdens the hearts of others so much, the sheer joy and fulfilment it brings to others is worth saying a million times, “Because of you only…”

The greatness is in the painting, and not in the painter’s signature.

That’s the secret to maintain good relationships.

Begin Your Day with a Beautiful Thought from Mahatria

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