Teaching your child to be responsible

Even as adults, we know what we have to do and still lack the motivation to do it. The same is true of children, especially those raised in the Indian culture. Understand that your child still needs your guidance. Instead of worrying about teaching your child responsibility, look at it as a bonding opportunity.

Why you should listen to this audio?

Listen to this podcast to understand how you can better care for your child and also set expectations of your child.

Who should listen to this audio?

11 years old might be too young for a child to be able to do things on his own. It is not lack of responsibility, but an opportunity for the parent to spend time with the child.

"Even as adults, we know what we have to do and still lack the motivation to do it."

Transcript

 

How do I make my 11 year old son accountable?

Make sure he does his home work by self instead of me telling him to do it every single day.

How do I make my 11-year-old son accountable? Make sure he does his homework by himself instead of me telling him to do it every single day.

I think it is a human predicament.  Even amongst adults that we know what we have to do and yet we lack the motivation to do it,  that is why we are all urgency addicts.  We postpone  postpone postpone till we can postpone it no more and then we get the whole thing done, we are all urgency addict.

We all have this limitation with us.  Eleven, it’s a little one, and in an Indian Society… Sunitha, I know you must be having some brother in America where the child from two years or three years has been sleeping in a separate room and in that culture from the beginning the child has been told you have to do your own work, and you will have to finish your homework where even if relatives come the child will just come outside and say hi, I got work to do and the child will go back and continue to homework.

I am not saying it’s wrong, it’s there in that culture and the child has been brought up even to sleep alone from an early age and that child has been brought up in that culture so looking at that we also feel but that’s not Indian culture.  Indian culture is still… and this is not wrong either this is… its work for this culture because we come from that culture where the king has always called out somebody will come.

India is the only culture in the world where the owner of the car will still be sitting in the car till the driver can get down and come the entire distance and open the door and only then he will get down.  India is the only culture where a small bag, a small bag we expect…. we always have somebody to carry that bag for us so that you can walk along that means you are the boss, somebody has to carry that for you otherwise you cannot be considered the boss.

We will drink tea and keep it there, a servant has to come and pick it up…. it’s there in the culture, it’s still there very much there in the culture… it has probably the… if tonight for my dinner, if I am given a choice that I have to either eat with my own hands or my mother, is willing to feed me, with no shame, I will tell you Sunitha, I would prefer my mother feedings and I would take it and it’s okay.  You can’t even dream of doing this in a lot of cultures.

Four years, five years old, you can’t feed the child but here chaltha hey … it’s part of that culture that you can be a 50-year-old adult and if your mom is still alive and she will mix and she will feed, you have to do… unfortunately that system is not there where chewing and swallowing only you have to do, she cannot do it for you… but it can be done and it’s there in this culture, this is probably the only culture where the parents sing to make a child go to sleep and all the other place the child is left in the cradle, it keeps looking, looking, looking till it gets tired and it goes to sleep, here you make the child sleep, it’s there in this culture, so in that culture to expect an 11-year-old to understand these are all my homework and I will have to do…. I am not supporting the child, I am saying from a cultural orientation it’s okay and these are bonding opportunities Sunitha.

If your child because a child in an American Society is parented to be with parents only till 16. So he needs independence because at 16 the child will go away and live life for herself, for himself, shift to a dome and start living from there probably come home for a week and just to do the laundry wash, it’s very different here… look 50 years old and I have to take care of my parents and I have to live with my parents and my father still scolds me, scolds me for reasons you cannot imagine what all and he will still scold me, and he can scold me and it’s okay in this environment and it’s part of this entire thing.

The culture is different and Don’t miss this bonding opportunity, but I wish the child is dependent on you at this age prime entering into adolescent years, for you to say you go to study.  You sit next to me then I will study and I think it’s a bonding opportunity and Do not miss this opportunity.

 

Begin Your Day with a Beautiful Thought from Mahatria

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