Chapter 7: Subconscious Doubts and Subconscious Beliefs

A man can be his own take-off pedestal or his own bottleneck. It all depends on how strong his subconscious mind is. Let’s learn how to strengthen the subconscious mind.

The appointment was for 3.00 p.m. It was already 3.20 p.m. Siva entered Avyakta’s office with a lot of hesitation and uttered a cautious “Sorry!”

Only when mistakes hurt a person, they transform the person. So, there are times when a ‘Sorry’ from a person should be quietly absorbed. When your response to a ‘Sorry’ is “It’s okay,” you are not providing the context for the person to feel the hurt of having committed the mistake. Then, people will only repeat their mistakes.

Avyakta’s facial expressions communicated to Siva, “Coming late was not okay.” However, the meeting progressed and at the end of the meeting, Siva enquired, “If you are free, can I get something clarified?

This question has been lingering in my head ever since I started relating with you.”

“Why do you make such a fuss about punctuality? – Is your question, isn’t it?” Avyakta intervened. Siva smiled, nodded his head and waited for Avyakta to reply.

Avyakta shifted from the other side of the table to a chair beside Siva. Avyakta explained, “Siva, existential glory is that all of us are born equals. Human glory lies in ensuring that we do not die as equals. Every human being is made of the same inside stuff and what is possible for one human being is possible for every human being. If all of us are made of the same inside stuff, then, why there is so much disparity in results? One man is able to produce so much, while the rest are not able to? Why is it that for most people, maximum effort produces only minimum results, while for some, minimum effort brings in maximum results? There is a scientific explanation to this.”

Curious and connected, Siva waited in eager anticipation for Avyakta to continue. “Listen,” said Avyakta, “you said you would meet me at 3.00, but turned up at 3.20. Practically speaking, neither of us is dealing with nanotechnology or rocket science, for 20 minutes to make a difference. However, something beyond the obvious happens. Your ‘Sorry’ and my acceptance of the same sets everything okay at the conscious level. However, at a much deeper level, your subconscious has made a note of this experience and so has my subconscious. ‘When Siva says 3.00, it is not 3.00’. And in your case, this isn’t an isolated occurrence, but a repetitive one. Today, in the meeting when you said, ‘I will do the project in 15 days’, let me be frank with you; internally, I didn’t believe you would complete it in 15 days. My conscious mind is able to understand your explanations and the logic behind your projection of 15 days. But my subconscious doesn’t trust your commitment. Observations that are recorded from the past reveal that you do not mean what you say. With subtle resistance, it wonders, when 3.00 has never been 3.00, how can I believe 15 will be 15?”

Though cosily sitting in the comfort of an air- conditioned room, there were droplets of sweat forming on Siva’s forehead. He wasn’t feeling comfortable. He knew he was the subject of Avyakta’s narration and that too in an absolute negative connotation.

Avyakta elaborated, “So often have you complained to me that your wife doesn’t completely trust your love for her? It is for the same reason. You know you rank the lowest among low, when it comes to your commitment levels. Again, this is not a one-off happening, but a repetitive occurrence in your marriage. At the conscious level, she has no problems with you. But her subconscious does not trust you when you say you love her, because it wonders when ‘Tuesdays have never been Tuesdays, 5 has never been 5, tomorrow has never been tomorrow, then how can I believe, when you say love you, it is love you’. The subconscious mind of your wife, even without her being conscious of it, over a period of time, has lost respect for your words. That’s why, if you have observed, your son listens to your brother and not to you… ironically, your brother’s son listens to you, but not to your brother. Both your brother and you have been consistent defaulters to your own sons, but have been extra good to your nephews. After all, all of us are capable of part-time goodness, but when the same is expected of us full- time, it becomes difficult. By defaulting on promises and commitments to our children, especially when it tends to be repetitive, we lose their subconscious trust. They may not lose respect for us, but they certainly lose respect for our words.”

“So Siva, understand,” Avyakta continued, “with every faltered commitment, we build a subconscious doubt in the other person. With every promise broken, we develop that subconscious doubt. Since the major portion of the human mind is subconscious and only
a small portion of it is the conscious mind, even if everything seems okay at the conscious level, relationships – where subconscious doubts prevail – can never be deep relationships. They remain shallow relationships.”

Avyakta added, “The problem is more complicated than you think. Initially, failing commitments and not living up to promises create subconscious doubts in other people and thus affects your relationships. Progressively, your own subconscious develops those doubts and when that happens, it begins to affect your life itself. Every time you aspire to do something big in life, every time you dream of doing something legendary, your own subconscious, because of the doubts you have built due to faltering commitments, will betray your potential. It wonders, ‘You can’t even wake-up at the time you set the wake- up call’, ‘You can’t even return the call you promised you would’, ‘You couldn’t even deliver the material on the day you promised’, ‘You can’t even make it to an appointment on time’… then, where is the question of you becoming a legend? And, these are not doubts that others have over what you can accomplish, but these are doubts your own subconscious has about you. That’s how your own subconscious, because of the prevailing subconscious doubts, betrays your own potential.”

Siva looked completely shaken up. “Nothing is lost. Everything can be turned around by building subconscious beliefs,” consoled Avyakta. “The solution is to understand that with every commitment upheld and every promise fulfilled, it will primarily build subconscious beliefs in you, which will help you to express your potential, and eventually develop subconscious beliefs in others, which will help you to build deep relationships.”

“So Siva,” Avyakta clarified, “I am not fussy about time; practicing punctuality is one of the tools to develop subconscious beliefs. With such an ordinary background and simple past, if I have reached where I have reached, it is because of the high commitment levels that I practice. Living up to commitments is a wonderful instrument to build subconscious beliefs. It is not about how learned you are or how much knowledge you possess – all these sit in the memory accessible by the conscious mind, but it is about how powerful your subconscious is. With subconscious beliefs, your subconscious works for you. With subconscious doubts, your subconscious works against you. That’s why every man is his own take-off pedestal and he is also his own bottleneck.”

With a gentle touch on Siva’s shoulder Avyakta said, “The greatest pride is to grow in your own eyes.

Every time you live up to your word, you grow in your own eyes and in the process build your subconscious beliefs. The greatest setback is to fall in your own eyes. Every time you are not worthy of your word, you fall in your own eyes and in the process build subconscious doubts. Start with private promises and commitments, and once the commitment muscle is built, you can go public with your promises and commitments.”

Avyakta concluded, “Your subconscious must be trained to understand, ‘If he says it, he will do it’. Only then it will start believing, ‘If he dreams it, he will achieve it’.”

Avyakta picked up a piece of paper and wrote on it, “The power of the man is in the power of his mind. The power of his mind is in the power of his subconscious mind. The power of his subconscious mind is in the power of his subconscious beliefs. And, it is these subconscious beliefs that lift man to greatness. All the best Siva! Wishing you most and more…”

Avyakta handed over the note to Siva and Siva replied, “15 days is 15 days. I am on my way to greatness.”

The greatest pride is to grow in your own eyes. The greatest setback is to fall in your own eyes.

When you don’t give up, you go up.

Nothing wrong turned out to be right in the long run. The very fact that so many failures have finally turned into success implies that failures are not wrong. So, don’t be ashamed of your failures. There is no sunrise without sunset. There is no life without death. There is no success without failures. God’s delays are not god’s denials. Success delays failures and failures delay success. Failure is a parenthesis inside which success hides and history makers dig them out through relentless striving. If I haven’t given up, then I haven’t failed. When you don’t give up, you go up.