Happiness or Love?

What is more important in life - love or happiness? Simply put, there is no right answer as both are important. The difference, however, is how we choose to experience them both. That leads us to one of the most intriguing conundrums ever - finding love in happiness or happiness in love! Mahatria solves the riddle, in this podcast, with such relatability that we are amused it was considered a tricky puzzle all the while.

Why you should listen to this audio?

Human beings thrive on both love and happiness. When our expectations about these are unrealistic, the outcomes turn into bitter or depressing experiences. These feelings hamper our relationship with others. Mahatria, through this podcast, helps us comprehend the dynamics of love and happiness better so that we know how best to aspire and desire them.

Who should listen to this audio?

Do you think being in love means being happy? Do you keep hoping that the love of your life is just around the corner? Are you unsure if your spouse loves you? Do you keep seeking love from everyone around you? If you answered yes to any of the questions above, this podcast is for you.

"Where there is love, happiness is not guaranteed.
Where there is happiness, love is felt.
Love without happiness is a sentiment."

Transcript

 

This is the voice of Mahatria. Welcome to discover a new you. Wishing you most and more…

There is an interesting question, who is more important than the one who gives us happiness or the one whose happiness matters to us. The one who loves us or the one whom we love.

Let’s leave love and happiness aside.

There are only two states from which we can live our life.

Either we are a giver or we are a beggar.

In any dimension of life; either I am healthy enough that I can use my body to take care of others. Or I’m not healthy enough others have to take care of my body. So even at the physical level, either I am a giver or I am a receiver. Either I’m matured enough that I can guide others or I’m immature enough that I will have to seek guidance all the time.

My self-image is so intact my self-esteem is so intact that I find it easy to appreciate everybody. I’m a giver of appreciation. I have such a dented self-image that I am all the time craving for others to appreciate me. So there’s this craving who will appreciate me? Who will recognize me? Who will validate me? So in life, we can either be a giver or we can be a beggar. There are only two states.

If you are a giver you are dependable.

If you are a beggar, you are dependent.

You are at the mercy of the world. So the moment I understand that I need to be dependable. I choose to live a life of a giver rather than a beggar because you’re rich by what you give and poor by what you receive. It completely shifts you into a different state. Ironically on a day when I’m saying we will choose ‘This And That’ and not ‘This Or That.’ The question comes, should I choose the people who give me happiness or should I choose the people whose happiness matter to me? Ironically the entire introduction is about we will choose ‘And’ and not ‘Or’ and the question is about, Should I prefer the people who love me or should I prefer the people? And celebrate the people who give you happiness and love and feel responsible for people whose happiness matters to whom you choose to love and integrate. You’re the greatest of all the creation. Why should I choose compartmentalization for anything? Why not integration?

 But there’s a different dimension I want to give to this question because of those two words, happiness and love that you have used. Where there is love happiness is not guaranteed. Where there is happiness, love is felt. In fact, love without happiness is a sentiment. You get hurt for everything it instigates your ego. You’re all the time doing expectation management. All the time there is an argument all the time there is this transaction in that love. I am loving you so much but you’re not loving me so much, I’m only expressing the love you’re not expressing. I have to always take the initiative you are not taking the initiative.

In fact, a love that is devoid of happiness is very possessive. Anybody who is in love but does not go to be happy in life cannot leave you happy in life. Why did you talk to him? You should only talk to me. Why, how come she has become your friend, not me? You are giving Mother much more attention than you are giving me, for you, your wife has become more important than me. In fact the possessiveness, drama that love plays out. Love turns out to be a pain, love should never turn out to be a pain. But love turns out to be a pain in anybody, who does not know to be happy in life. And for a person who knows to be happy in life love is felt.

Then there is humor, then there if prank, then there is uninhibited expressions, pulling each other’s leg, you take… the ego doesn’t get provoked that easily. Worst circumstance you say fooo.. and you move on because you re-anchor yourself. You don’t want to lose your happiness. So anytime you find that being possessive of somebody out of love is not allowing me to be happy in the relationship. Being demanding of expressions of love is not allowing me to be happy in that relationship. It’s not giving me happiness in life. Once happiness becomes the rootedness the anchor…

As in the Vedic tradition, they say, ‘If you can find Sat…Chit…Ananda… Prem… will be there as a by-product. It’s felt you don’t have to separately embrace it. As long as this truth in your life, as long as there is awareness in your life, as long as there is happiness in your life, Sat…Chit…Ananda… you don’t have to do anything separately for love, love is felt. It emanates as a fragrance for your personality on its own; so many times when you can start looking at life looking at relationships through the spectacles of happiness. How can I be a happy Mother? How can I ensure that the parenting is a happy experience? How do I find happiness at work? How do I create… for everything we say happy, Happy new year, Happy returns of the day, Happy birthday, Happy anniversary, Happy morning. For everything we say happiness. But we don’t anchor ourselves to happiness. If we can bring about one shift in our lives that we see life through the spectacles of happiness, Happy spirituality.

I cannot understand how you guys can go to the most sacred place called a place of worship and even forget to smile there. Is that any parent who wants to see their own children always in a frown, always with a serious face? Always looking serious; won’t it be the basic expectation of any parent for all that I have done provided keep doing for my children. At least I want to see them happy. And that is what must be the state of the eternal Father, eternal creator; God.

What it must be for God, to see everybody in the place of worship with a serious face with a frown. You can almost put some potato on the face and take out Vada-Paav from there. The moment my life becomes anchored to, out of happiness, nothing for happiness, everything out of happiness. So when I become a happy husband and thereby create a happy marriage. There’s not even a need to talk about love, it’s felt. And being with you for children is the happiest experience. Guiding them is not difficult.

A lot of you I think look forward to being with your friends because that’s probably the happiest relationship for many of you. That’s why you always look forward to being with your friends. That’s why, especially during adolescent years, a lot of you choose to be with friends over even being with the family because you find a lot more happiness there. If the home can become the happiest place what if we can create a home where children find more happiness over home compared to which their friends are a little boring.

What if you have a way by which you can make learning a happy experience. You’re a happy teacher and you’re happy ways to teach and learning becomes a happy experience. When life has lived through the spectacles of happiness, love is taken care of. You don’t have to do anything exclusively for that. The other way around, it is not true. So choose ‘This And That.’ Anchor your life to happiness and desire, aspire that in every dimension of your life, in every role of your life you want to live your life as a giver and not as a beggar. 

Begin Your Day with a Beautiful Thought from Mahatria

Subscribe to
Get Mahatria‘s Wisdom Daily to Your Inbox

Popular Podcasts

How to Overcome your Fears to Speak Up

Just if you can handle this one fallacy that is there in the thought process, …

Listen More

Manifesting Abundance in your Life

We should not even think scarcity thoughts. We should only think thoughts of abundance. Abundance …

Listen More

How to build a healthy Self-image?

  Some men in my life have poor self-image and I want to help them. …

Listen More

Being happy with what you have

Question:  Why should one be happy for others, when you are not happy from inside? …

Listen More
Arguing for the right reason?

Arguing for the right reason?

Question:  Arguing for the right reason with my father is right or wrong? Ans:  Now, …

Listen More

How to Overcome Anger

There is this other question that is come from Malaysia.  She is asking how to …

Listen More

How to realise your goals

Question:  What is the most important quality required to stick to the vision that I …

Listen More

Building Positive Relationships at Work

Question:  I am 30 and my team members are 24, there is lot of difference …

Listen More

Dealing with an attention seeking child

Question:  Vidya from Singapore is asking this question. With the arrival of my second child, …

Listen More

Dealing with Emotionally Immature People

  Question: How to handle immaturity particularly in close relationship, however, without hurting them. Answer:  …

Listen More