Temper

If we lose it, we lose everything…

Mr. Ram Kapoor, the HOD of the Department of Psychology stepped out of the Principal’s room and got into his waiting car, and angrily slammed the door behind him.  “Put off the music!” he screamed at his chauffeur.  A perplexed Raju immediately turned off the music.  He was surprised at his boss’ strange demeanour.  He was enthusiastic to inform his boss about the good news that he had just received that he had become a father but Mr. Kapoor’s temper prevented him from doing so.  While alighting at home, a neighbour wished Mr. Kapoor, but he walked away briskly, behaving as if he hadn’t noticed anyone.  Raju was left disappointed and dejected because he could not convey the good news to his boss, whom he loved and revered so much.

Once home, Mr. Kapoor started yelling at whoever he came across until he reached his bedroom and locked himself inside.  He sat on his bed and put his head in his cupped hands and was recollecting the spat he’d had with the Principal.  The few faults within his department could have been pointed out and explained in a better way and the differences sorted out on an amicable note too.  Why did the otherwise understanding and pleasant Principal behave in such a haughty manner, he wondered?  His thoughts paced as fast as light and there was complete chaos in his mind, which resulted in a splitting headache.

He could hear his wife knocking at the door and enquiring about what was wrong.  But he was very upset because, being a fairly meticulous person professionally, he couldn’t take it when a finger was pointed out at him.  When the door did not open after repeated requests, Mrs. Kapoor could stand it no longer and walked hurriedly towards the kitchen; while doing so, she dashed into her son who was having milk and the entire liquid fell on the floor.  More than the loss of the glass of milk, she was cross that she would have to clear the mess, so she sharply reacted towards her son, spanking and screaming at him simultaneously.  This set the little one wailing.  He became so unhappy that he refused to eat the whole day.  Like all protective grandparents, the old couple appeared on the scene and started scolding their daughter-in-law.

This had turned into a vicious circle.  Screaming, shouting, anger, upsets… resulted, eventually leading to an unhealthy atmosphere in a usually peaceful abode.  Had Mr. Kapoor kept calm for some time and discussed with his family about what he was undergoing, the entire scenario would have been different.  “We are strong when we know our weaknesses.  We are beautiful when we appreciate our flaws.  We are wise when we learn from our mistakes.”  This should be imprinted in each of our minds in order to avoid unnecessary flare ups.

Reflecting upon this, such events are ubiquitous.  People in power sometimes get stressed out and vent their emotions upon their immediate juniors, who pass it down to their subordinates; thus, the distress permeates down as if it is hereditary.  One after another, the ones connected fall into the unpleasant situation.  When something goes wrong, it is human tendency to get upset and angry immediately.  But that doesn’t mean we can show our temper on whoever we come across.  The person who has made a mistake can be corrected in a pleasant but firm manner so that he will realise his mistake, learn from it and correct himself.  There are people who learn better when corrected in an agreeable way.  If we shout at people for their mistakes, they will develop fear and will never approach us or rectify themselves.  Life is a process of learning.  We learn from each other and we need to provide comfort levels for others to learn too.  As stated by Mark Twain, “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

An angry husband upsets his family.  An ill-tempered teacher gives rise to hesitant and fearsome students.  An enraged boss creates unhappy employees.  A furious policeman creates a violent mob, and this goes on…    Anger is a harmful poison.  It pollutes us and it pollutes the people around us.  Moreover, it is toxic for health.  It is sometimes difficult to control situations when they go beyond our control but getting angry is not the solution.  If we can keep calm, we can think of better solutions.  We can avoid unpleasant situations.  As mentioned in the example above, this becomes a vicious circle.  One upset person passes on his temper to another and so on and so forth.  In our displeasure, we create many misunderstandings and sometimes even relationships get snapped unnecessarily.

Angry people have few friends.  No one likes to talk to them or even approach them.

Angry people have few friends.  No one likes to talk to them or even approach them.  They are usually avoided, and people talk badly about them because they create an unhealthy atmosphere wherever they go.  Whereas people with a pleasing temperament and a smile on their countenance are much sought after.  One can experience bliss in the company of a composed person, because one of the best feelings in the world is knowing that someone is happy because of us.  In our short journey of life, mustn’t we make each other comfortable and happy?  What do we gain by losing our temper?

Yoga, meditation, proper planning of our routine and perfect implementation will lead to the smooth functioning of our activities.  When we follow a schedule, nothing will go wrong and we can keep ourselves cheerful and peaceful, which in turn is good for ourselves and the people associated with us.  This will result in good health too.  There is no class to teach us how to speak, but how we speak definitely decides our class.  Let us learn to control our temper, to build patience and to handle difficult situations differently.  Our best teacher is our last mistake.  We are never too old to become better versions of ourselves, so, let us become the best.

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